Ashlee Simpson Is a Great Sister

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For some reason Ashlee Simpson is on the cover of the October issue of Redbook, and when she was asked about her sister, she had nothing but wonderful things to say about Jessica’s fabulous life and how every woman would be lucky to be Jessica Simpson. Or, you know, whatever means the exact opposite of that. Us Magazine reports:

“She’s always saying, ‘Oh, I want a baby!'” Ashlee, 24, who welcomed Bronx 10 months ago, tells the October issue of Redbook. When asked if she envies her single sister, who was dumped by Tony Romo in July, Ashlee admits, “I really don’t.”

Instead of this interview, Ashlee Simpson should have just wrapped Jessica up in a tarp, set it on fire, then threw her off a cliff. You know, in case people accidentally misunderstood her point.

The emo corpse bride leaving Nobu: