You’re Not Gonna Believe This

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You might want to sit down for this, but America’s beloved actress Gwyneth Paltrow is acting like a raging bitch on the set of Iron Man 2. I know, I know. Breathe. C’mon, breathe. Fox News reports:

A source says some of the “Iron Man” team had secret hopes of her character being recast, or even killed in the movie, but are resigned to the likelihood that she is locked in as the character Pepper Potts. Gwyneth did nothing to make friends with fellow superhero Scarlett Johansson, playing the Black Widow, says the insider, and crew actually preferred to be around her husband, Coldplay frontman, Chris Martin. “Gwyneth is extremely cool at work. She’s just a step above professional, too snobby,” the on-set source tells FOX411. “Gwyneth is not friendly to anyone, and tends to make people feel awkward and uncomfortable. She wasn’t outright rude to Scarlett, she just didn’t ever speak to her. Gwyneth went out of her way to avoid Scarlett, and they had zero contact, at Gwyneth’s choosing.” The source says that she also put undue pressure on the hair and makeup staff and other members of the crew. “Gwyneth would be very put out if hair and makeup were running behind or things were not on schedule. Usually, nothing was drastically late, but Gwyneth can instantly say something that lets everyone know she is put out,” the source explains. “Much of the crew didn’t mind hanging out with her husband, Chris, but if Gwyneth ever came around, they scattered! Chris is so chill and relaxed and she is just the opposite. Chris has been a crew favorite since the filming of the first movie.” And while the insider says there are definitely people on the movie who would love to see her replaced, Pepper Potts is a very important character to Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark. “She is not going anywhere,” sighs the source. “As long as Gwyneth wants to be in the movies, she will be, and the crew has to learn how to handle her.”

Seriously, is there even any reason Gwyneth Paltrow is even in movies besides her famous parents using their Hollywood connections like high-speed internet? She can’t act, she’s ugly, freakishly pale, and I’d rather hear the a doctor tell me he’s gonna have to amputate that hear this bitch’s annoying ass voice. If her parents weren’t Bruce Paltrow and Blythe Danner, she’d be asking me if she could box up my steak at Outback. Why, yes. Yes, you could.

: And don’t please justify the reasons for why she can act because she won an Oscar. Three 6 Mafia won an Oscar too, so let’s don’t get carried away.