Paris Hilton Is On a Yacht, Valtrex

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Paris Hilton was on a yacht in Bora Bora with her boyfriend Doug Reinwhathisface, and if any dude reading this thinks this is hot, do us a favor. Kill yourself. Seriously, I’m not even joking. Kill yourself. Do whatever you have to do. If you have a gun, use that. If you don’t, phone a friend who has one. If you don’t have any friends that have any, call me. On the count of the three, all your suffering will be over. I promise.