Ashlee Simpson Is A Huge Star

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God knows why anybody would watch this, but here’s the promo for the reboot of Melrose Place on the increasingly gay CW, which stars Ashlee Simpson as Violet Foster, “a small-town girl trying her luck in L.A., who has a disarming naiveté [that] masks the calculating, shrewd sex kitten within”. Man, that sounds like a pretty original character. Maybe I can play the Native American pool boy with the mysterious past who bangs all the white girls in the building until one goes dick crazy and tries to drown me. I mean, I can make it pretty realistic.I have video footage and sworn statements if the producers are interested.

Note: In case you missed it, the tagline for this shit is “No apartment building has ever been so complex.” Jesus, really? Who do I need to blow to get a TV writing gig?