It Was All For Money

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Remember Lindsay’s “birthday party” she had on Saturday? Turns out it really wasn’t her birthday, she’s just a whore who needed some money. Page Six reports:

LINDSAY Lohan’s 23rd birthday isn’t until tomorrow, but she’s already managed to profit off the day. According to sources, the troubled starlet was paid a cool $70,000 by the MGM Grand in Las Vegas to host an all-day “pre-celebration” at the hotel’s Wet Republic pool party last Saturday. At the event, which served as a promotion for her Sevyn Nine self-tanning mist, Lohan changed bathing suits five times before throwing on club gear and dancing to Michael Jackson songs for the rest of the night. But friends of Lohan say the event was less of a celebration and more of an urgent attempt to pull in some cash. “None of her really close friends were there,” said our insider, who noted that ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson was also missing from the festivities. “The only person who was even known was Brittny Gastineau.”

Hopefully one day I’ll be able to wake up and never have to post another Lindsay Lohan story because either her medicine can’t help her T-cell count anymore or her vagina will get it’s dream job of repopulating a distant planet. Either or. I can’t really afford to be picky right now.