Chris Brown Isn’t Going To Jail

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Although he did this to Rihanna because she dared to ask him about a woman he was texting, Chris Brown was sentenced to 180 days of community service in his home state of Virginia where he will, as punishment, be picking up trash, pulling weeds and washing fire trucks. Pardon me while I go punch a hole in the wall. TMZ reports:

He gets 5 years probation for FELONY assault — he pled guilty. He’ll get supervised probation. He’ll have to come back to court every three months. He must enroll in a domestic violence counseling program. This is interesting … the judge said if Brown and Rihanna are at the same public events, the 50-yard stay away turns into 10 yards. The stay away order lasts 5 years. The judge said she wanted to make sure that Chris Brown “was treated as any other person who comes through this court.” If Brown violates probation, he could get up to 4 years in prison. Rihanna is in the courthouse but never entered the courtroom. So Brown is now a convicted felon and loses the following rights: To own a gun, to sit on a jury, subject to search and seizure without a search warrant and he now has limitations on travel. When Brown left the courtroom … Rihanna walked in the courtroom. The judge explained the deal to her. The judge is telling Rihanna about the protective order.

Wow. Thanks again California judicial system. I’m sure a woman beater will learn his lesson by doing chores I did when I was 10. Man, it’s a good thing he didn’t kill her then you’d really have to punish him to the fullest extent of California law. Like sentencing him to watch a scary movie or going to bed without ice cream. That’ll teach him!!