Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhart Broke Up; Paris Is Dumb

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Paris Hilton (herpes with legs) and Doug Reinhardt (plays baseball, was on The Hills, probably a douche nozzle) have broken up. From People:

“In response to the inquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy,” a rep for Hilton says.

Maybe Al Gore made them break up because having them together in the same room created an environmental hazard unable to be contained even at biosafety level 4. Their diseases mated and spawned what will come to be known as Supermegaherpes. The only other option was to have a HAZMAT crew follow them around, which they obviously declined.

And more Paris news: She has copyrighted the phrase “That’s huge.” and plans to charge public figures that use the phrase. From Imdb News:

[Paris] says, “The way I say it, you can (own it)… Huge is good. It can never be bad. Huge is really hot.”

Really Paris? Huge can never be bad? Is “That’s a huge bitch” ever meant as a compliment? I’d like to copyright “whorulous”, which I will then use to refer to Miss P-tard. In a sentence: Paris Hilton is the most whorulous of all whores. You’re welcome, National Spelling Bee.

P.S. Paris is a whore.