Kendra Wilkinson is Knocked Up

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There’s a 5-day waiting period and you have to take a special safety course if you want to be the registered owner of my penis, and I don’t know that has to do with anything, but ex-Playboy model and former wigger from E!’s The Girls Next Door, confirmed she was pregnant today. She says on her blog:

hi everyone!!!! so the rumors are true…i am pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hank and i were beyond excited when we found out the news and ive been dying to tell all of you but we were waiting for the perfect time to do it. im sorry if you heard it first elsewhere…that’s not how i wanted it to happen, but im so glad its out in the open now.

I think it’s cute that she thinks the whole world was on pins and needles to find out if an ex-stripper was really having a baby with a 5th-string NFL wide receiver with 6 career touchdowns, but I can’t really say that I hate Kendra Wilkinson. She’s gratingly annoying and epically dumb, but she’s always happy and generally seems to mean well. She’s like the Snuggle fabric softener teddy bear but with bigger tits and a way more accommodating vagina.