Heidi Montag Was Tortured. Umm, And?

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Let me be the first to say, so what. TMZ reports:

We’ve learned Heidi was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with a gastric ulcer, after being held with hubby Spencer Pratt in a dark room for a day and a night with only water, rice and beans. It was designed as punishment because they left the show. One cast member described their treatment this way — “It’s the same as Guantanamo Bay.” And get this … a cast member tells us NBC execs tried to convince Heidi to stay on the set rather than take an ambulance to a hospital for treatment. She has now left the hospital and is on meds. We’re told some of the cast members want to quit, but their passports have been taken away and they are under guard. Paul Telegdy, NBC’s Exec VP of Alternative Programming, told Ryan Seacrest about holding Heidi and Spencer in isolation as punishment, adding, “…They are now going to be examined, and their value system utterly deconstructed …These people really are going to bare their souls.” We’re told Spencer has fired his lawyer (who wanted him to stay on the show) and is now planning to sue NBC over the show. Spencer and Heidi now want out … for good….but there’s a problem — they signed a contract with NBC to do the show.

And as you might have guessed, yes, it’s all bullshit. TMZ says:

The bigwigs over at NBC and Granada Television are fuming mad at Heidi and Spencer for their latest claims of “being tortured” — and they say the video tape will prove their side of the story….But we’re told it’s all BS. A source on the production tells us there were medics on scene the entire time and the whole thing was filmed. Spencer tweeted that Heidi was “locked in a dark room for 3 days w no food or water” — we’re told it was 8-10 hours max, with food and water.

I was so excited when I heard about this! I was saying to myself, “The only thing that could make this better is if Heidi and Spencer were run over by an ice cream truck. Bye bye Speidi, hello ice cream!” To hear that ’twas all a load of shit was pretty much devastating. I heard Heidi + Spencer + torture, and the gears in my head, they were a-turnin’. I built a mental Rube Goldberg Torture Machine. Little robot climbs a hill, knocks a bowling ball into a bucket, Diet Coke and Mentos geyser fills a giant funnel which empties into a water wheel, which powers a boom box playing “Just A Friend” by Biz Markie, which starts the sound-activated dancing Santa Claus which releases the potato bugs all over Heidi and Spencer! If that ever happens, I totally didn’t do it.