Britney Shaved Her Head Because She Was Pouting

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In the new book, Britney: Inside The Dream, author Steve Dennis says Britney shaved her hair off in 2007 to spite her mother and management, who forced Britney into a terrible life of international stardom and untold riches. Awww, poor Britney 🙁 The Sun reports:

“The head-shaving had little do with self-loathing, more a loathing against the public persona that had defined her until then. “What few people knew was that Britney was rowing with her mum, LYNNE, who seemed to be incessantly reminding her of her motherly duties and responsibilities. “What made Britney most irate was that her mama kept mentioning how her ex Kevin wasn’t forever on the town. This was all being viewed as controlling behaviour. “The head-shaving moment was the culmination of an escalating rebellion, heightened by heartbreak over her divorce and custody battle, that can be traced back to 2004 when Britney decided she no longer wished to conform, be controlled or take instruction.” Steve adds: “What better way to rid herself of the performer’s identity than by losing the very hair she famous for – sabotaging the act to free the person?”

I realize all of this is supposed to make me feel bad for Britney Spears, but sorry, it’s not. Instead of being home with her kids, she was high on meth and diet pills and getting hit with paparazzi penis like a Whac-A-Mole. The bitch was crazy. In 2007 you didn’t know what the hell Britney was gonna do next. Everyday, I was fulling expecting to see pictures of Britney huffing from a gas pump or painting a tunnel on the side of a mountain to catch Roadrunner.