Jessica Biel Won’t Shut Up

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Earlier this week, Jessica Biel went on and on about how she couldn’t get a good acting role because she was too hot. Now, it also appears that fame is also a problem. Showbiz Spy says:

“It’s wonderful to do what I do, but everything that goes with it? It’s bizarre,” Biel tells Allure magazine. “The invasion of privacy is very tough. I am followed all day, every day. Going to the dentist, the cleaners. I guess I could look like s**t going to the dentist, but only if I didn’t care what I saw in the papers.”

Let me preface this by saying that I really, really, really want to fuck Jessica Biel in the ass, but if she could stop talking for a minute that would be great. Look, sweetie, do you want a good acting role or do you not want to be famous? Make up your mind. Because if you’re a hot actress in a remotely decent movie, chances are a dude who needed Rosetta Stone to find the directions to your house will be sleeping in his van for the sole purpose of taking your picture. But not like the one I took when I sneaked in your house and wrapped myself in your clothes then hid when you got home and waited until you fell asleep. I hate to brag, but that picture was very artistic. My use of color and light really brought out your ass’ natural aesthetic.