Megan Fox is Bisexual

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In the new issue of Esquire, Megan Fox says that she likes to have sex with girls. When asked for comment, I said, “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh God, oh God, oh, ooohhhhh…..ah, ah, aaaaaahhhh, ah, mmmmm, ah, uuhhmm…whew. Who’s hungry?” The Sun UK says:

The Transformers actress says she’s a bisexual woman who won’t sleep with other bisexual women. She told Esquire: “I think people are born bisexual and they make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. “I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I’m also a hypocrite. I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.”

There’s only two women in the world that can make my penis shoot like a sprinkler, and yes, Megan Fox is one of them. And this does nothing but help her case. Dear God. I’m not even halfway joking when I say I’d fuck this bitch in the ass so fast California could use me to start a controlled burn.