My Tampon String is Hanging Out!

We can all just go ahead and agree that Britney Spears is a functioning retard, so of course, even with a Spartan army of handlers backstage, her tampon string was hanging out at her show in Anaheim last week. She’s been on tour for less than two months and she’s already done this, this, and this. Boy, I can’t well until next week when she skins a possum and washes her clothes by a creek or whatever the hell else hillbillies do. I swear, if success was based on actual talent, this daffy bitch would be on the back of a flatbed truck with a microphone taped to a broom handle and a bear in overalls and a straw hat blowing into a jug with X’s on it.