A/X Watches had a launch party last night and apparently the way to get actresses to your party is to give them free stuff. Lindsay Lohan looks like death, so you know she was there like an hour early pacing back and forth and chewing her nails in front of the window, so she could hurry up and take whatever she got to the pawn shop. Kristen Bell is only slightly more overrated than an ACC football team and if Hayden Panettiere‘s head got any bigger, she’d be levitating cars. But the only reason I’m posting these is because of the absolutely adorable Sophia Bush. I kinda almost don’t want to sex with her. She’s almost too cute. I mean, I would of course, but I’d be afraid I’d poke the talking baby koala cub or the magical pixie that lives in her vagina.
Sophia-Bush-AX-Watches
Video Game Consoles That Made Christmas Special
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Super Nintendo
Ah, the Super Nintendo. My personal favorite console of all time, when I found the SNES lying beneath the tree on Christmas morning with Super Mario World and F-Zero I was thrilled.
While it looks tame by today's standards, the pseudo-3D of the console's Mode 7 graphics and the vivid colors of Super Mario World felt like the future at the time, and for me it was my first experience of video games.
After playing the game for so long I could eventually whip through Super Mario World with ease, being an amateur speedrunner of the game before I even knew what speedrunning was.
I know many kids were as happy as me when they first received their SNES, and while I didn't quite go full 'Nintendo 64 Kid,' I came pretty close.
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PlayStation 2
The best-selling console of all time, the PlayStation 2 was a landmark moment in gaming, with Sony strongly pushing the console to a more mature crowd.
However, younger players will always want to mimic their cooler, older siblings, and as such the PS2 was desired by both pre-teen and teenage gamers.
With a launch line-up of games including the mighty Tekken Tag Tournament and TimeSplitters, with plenty more fantastic titles just around the corner, as years went by practically everybody owned a PS2... but those who received it on Christmas 2000 were the luckiest kids in school.
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Sega Dreamcast
While the Sega Dreamcast would underperform and eventually lead to the collapse of Sega as a console manufacturer, the Dreamcast had a wide selection of great games and was a hugely exciting console release at the time.
I remember the Dreamcast sitting side-by-side with Nintendo 64 in a booth at Toys 'R' Us, with Banjo-Kazooie playing on the N64 and Ready 2 Rumble Boxing on the Dreamcast.
While I never got my hands on the console, with a launch line-up consisting of Sonic Adventure, Power Stone and SoulCalibur, there was plenty for kids to get excited about in Christmas '99
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Nintendo Entertainment System
Back in the 1985 holiday season news presenters were hurriedly trying to explain the appeal of the NES, which had swiftly found its way to the top of kids' Christmas lists throughout the country.
Launching with Super Mario Bros. the NES was the must-have Christmas present, allowing players to visit the Mushroom Kingdom for the very first time. The memories made with the NES would forge a life-long love of Nintendo for many players, and an early fascination with video games as an entertainment medium.
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Game Boy Color
The Game Boy revolutionized handheld gaming, but the Game Boy Color was truly the greatest Christmas present to receive out of the two due to it coming armed with a very special couple of games - Pokemon Red and Blue.
The Game Boy Color propelled the Pokemon franchise into the stratosphere, launching a phenomenon that would soon encompass TV shows, trading cards, toys, stickers and more. Pokemon Red and Blue were two excellent RPG-light games that were actually released before the launch of the Game Boy Color, but the majority of us had to wait until the Holiday to get our hands on a copy alongside Nintendo's handheld device.
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Xbox
The original Xbox was a big, unsightly thing, with horrifically clunky controllers at launch and a bogey-green aesthetic that was entirely off-putting. However, it had one thing that no other home console had: Halo: Combat Evolved.
Those who got the Xbox back in 2001 had put it at the top of their Christmas list for one reason and one reason only, and that reason was to shoot some aliens in the hefty boots of Master Chief.
Though this system has been somewhat forgotten thanks to it lingering in the shadow of its much more popular successor, for many this console granted them their first experiences with online gaming, and with one of the greatest FPS series of all time.
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Nintendo 64
We've all seen the "NINTENDO SIXTY-FOOOOUR!" kid, and the reason why that video is so popular is because it mimics that childlike excitement we all used to feel during the holiday season.
The thing that I personally love about Nintendo consoles is that they've always felt like really great toys. Sure, the Xbox One may be a robust entertainment center and the PS4 a graphical powerhouse, but the Wii U is focused only upon creating as much fun for its owner as possible.
The Nintendo 64 was full to the brim with joy. Launching with Super Mario 64, a wondrous and revolutionary 3D platformer that transported Mario to greater heights than ever before thanks to the console's 64-bit technology, waking up on Christmas morning and being able to wander through the grounds of Princess Peach's castle made for an unforgettable holiday memory.
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Wii
The ultimate console for the holiday season, the inclusiveness of the Wii's launch line-up, which included the simple yet overwhelmingly fun Wii Sports, meant that on Christmas Day 2006 everyone could pick up a controller and play.
Families around the western world spent the entirety of December 25th playing Wii Sports Tennis and Bowling, with it bringing the entire family together in the living room - the way that Christmas is meant to be spent.
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Sega Genesis
Back when arcades were still "a thing," the Sega Genesis looked to transport that arcade experience to the living room, offering up a launch line-up of arcade ports such as Altered Beast that piqued the interest of many a kid back in 1989.
While the Sega Genesis' launch line-up was relatively decent, it was later in its life cycle when Sonic the Hedgehog was introduced as a pack-in game that it really began to surface to the top of Christmas lists worldwide.
The blue blur situated Sega in a battle against Nintendo and its mascot Mario, one which would divide playgrounds everywhere. Nintendo of course eventually won the "war," but Sega won many Christmas battles with its Genesis.
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Xbox 360
The PlayStation 3 doesn't feature on this list. Now before you raise your pitchforks, hear me out: when the PS3 was first launched, it was a ludicrously expensive, underdeveloped console that didn't exactly know what it wanted to be.
The PS3's first years were spent playing the underdog to the Wii and Xbox 360, and while it would perform far better in its later years, by that point most of us were old enough to go out and buy the console ourselves.
While the Xbox 360 didn't exactly have a stellar launch line-up, its more refined version of Xbox Live made playing online with friends even more of a breeze than it was on the original Xbox. I even managed to have fun playing Perfect Day Zero simply because I was playing it with friends, even though that game was horrifically bad in hindsight.
While the gap in quality between the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 would steadily decrease over the years, at launch the Xbox 360 was the far better (and more affordable) gift.
Our Favorite Holiday Themed Comics
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10. The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special
There are plenty of heartwarming Christmas comic books out there... but this isn’t one of them.
The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special was a very darkly funny parody of the Christmas season, in which the Main Man (that’s Lobo, for all of you non-comic folk) accepts a contract on Santa Claus’ life from the Easter Bunny... because the Easter Bunny was tired of getting less attention than Old Saint Nick.
Did I forget to mention that prior to the New 52 reboot, Lobo was an intergalactic space biker bounty hunter who was prone to graphic bursts of violence?
I don’t care what anyone says. The ‘90s were awesome!
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9. Marvel Holiday Special # 1
When it comes to Christmas humor, Marvel has its own brand of comedy. Case in point, 2005’s Marvel Holiday Special # 1 featured a re-purposed Ultron body that was turned into a robot Santa. Except the body was still evil... and thus it became Santron.
I really love comics.
Santron ended up attacking the Avengers holiday party at Doctor Strange’s house before the heroes managed to trick Santron into eating a “cookie” that disabled it. And because the Avengers are the very best heroes, they even extend a second chance to the misguided woman who created Santron.
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8. Uncanny X-Men # 230
The late ‘80s were a strange time for the X-Men. Back then, Marvel’s team of Mutant superheroes were hiding out in the Australian Outback and the world believed that they were dead. The X-Men also took over an abandoned town that had been used by the violent cyborg thieves known as the Reavers.
In Uncanny X-Men # 230, Longshot (one of the X-Men) was beset by psychic visions that allowed him to see how many of the Reavers’ spoils had been stolen and whom they truly belonged to. So, in the spirit of the Christmas season, the X-Men played Santa Claus and traveled around the world in a single night to return the stolen treasures to their rightful owners.
And then they had a Christmas party. Like you do.
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7. Flash # 73
It’s rare when a Christmas comic book story not only works on its own terms, but also sets up a much larger tale. Flash # 73 not only does that, it makes it look easy.
Casual comic book fans many not recall that Barry Allen was dead and gone back in 1993. His nephew by marriage, Wally West was the new Flash. In this issue, Wally found himself grappling with adulthood and his childhood memories while spending Christmas with his girlfriend, Linda Park and Jay Garrick, the original Flash.
Naturally, some problems came up that only two Flashes could handle, before Linda gave Wally the perfect Christmas gift. And then the universe itself seemed to reward the extended Flash family with the unexpected return of Barry Allen himself.
Later issues would delve into the mystery of Barry’s resurrection, but this was a singularly happy moment for The Flash and a great comic book as well. -
6. Spectacular Spider-Man # 27
Spectacular Spider-Man # 27 shamelessly swiped several of Bill Watterson’s Calvin and Hobbes snowmen gags. They’re still funny, but even as a homage it felt a bit overused in this issue.
The saving grace of Spectacular Spider-Man # 27 is that it also features a heart-to-heart with Peter Parker and his late Uncle Ben. During Peter’s annual Christmas pilgrimage to Uncle Ben’s grave, he imagines a long conversation with the man who was like a father to him.
Even though Peter is fully aware that Ben is just in his mind, this actually helps him move past a lot of his guilt and grief as he remembers the best of times with his Uncle. It’s a moving story for one of Marvel’s greatest heroes as he gets some much needed emotional closure... for at least one night.
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5. Hellboy Christmas Special #1
Mike Mignola’s Hellboy may be a demon from hell, but he’s also the “World’s Greatest Paranormal Investigator” and a really good guy.
In the Hellboy Christmas Special #1, Mignola expertly told a straightforward Hellboy story while adding in the holiday elements as well. On Christmas Eve, Hellboy answers the final request of a dying old woman to find and release the trapped soul of her daughter. But the old woman doesn’t see Hellboy as a beast or a monster... she thinks he’s Father Christmas.
On this occasion, Hellboy certainly was. Monstrous spirits were vanquished and a mother was reunited with her child before the end of her life. That’s a pretty good night’s work and a damn good story.
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4. Superman: Peace on Earth
Illustrator Alex Ross and veteran animation writer Paul Dini teamed up for a series of painted DC graphic novels that were collectively called The World's Greatest Super-Heroes. But their best collaboration came in Superman: Peace on Earth.
For this adventure, Superman took it upon himself to set an example for the rest of humanity and personally ensure that everyone in the world would have food on Christmas. It’s an admirable goal, but even Superman’s powers can’t always overcome fear and paranoia, both from the people of Earth and their governments.
Superman has his limits, but his heart is boundless. He can’t do everything for humanity, but even in failure he manages to be an inspirational figure.
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3. Fables # 56
For those of you who aren’t reading Fables, it’s a comic book series that postulates that every single legend (or Fable) is real, with most of the European Fables living in New York after being driven out of their own worlds by an all-powerful Adversary.
A few years into Fables’ run, the series unexpectedly introduced Santa Claus as yet another Fable. Ambrose, one of the sons of Snow White and Bigby Wolf, encountered Santa Claus and asked him a question that many people have wondered: how does he visit so many houses in one night?
I loved the answer to that question, so I’m not going to spoil it here. But it’s enough to say that this was a great Christmas issue.
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2. Batman: Noël
Artist Lee Bermejo wrote and drew the Batman: Noël graphic novel that was released in 2011. Taking a major cue from Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol, Noël casts Batman as the heartless Scrooge while he relentlessly hunts down the Joker and terrorizes one of Joker’s former henchmen.
Like any good Scrooge, Batman is visited by three individuals who essentially stand in as the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future that force Bruce Wayne to realize that he’s lost his way.
As the narrator of the story puts it, “for this story to make sense... for it to mean anything... you have to believe in something. Something very important. You have to believe people can change.”
Even in his darkest moments, Batman is capable of rediscovering his human heart.
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1. Starman # 27
It’s been 13 years since Starman came to an end at DC Comics, so most comic book fans may not know who Jack Knight is. But they should, because Jack Knight was one of the most human heroes that DC has ever had.
Starman # 27 was written by series creator, James Robinson and illustrated by Steve Yeowell. In this story, Jack is on his way to a Christmas dinner party with his closest friends and family when he comes across a man dressed in a Santa Claus costume who is crying on a park bench.
This “Santa” is a homeless veteran named Pete, who was robbed of a locket that was the only thing he valued in this world. So, Jack takes it upon himself to help the man recover the locket because it was all he had left of his family.
During their adventure, Pete proves that he has a heroic spirit as well when he saves a man’s life. While Pete is grateful for Jack’s help, he doesn’t expect any more aid from him. However, Jack refuses to let him be alone and he brings Pete to the Christmas party... where he is met with open arms.
In this instance, Jack’s greatest gift was his humanity. A few simple acts of kindness can be a transformative experience. And it made for a truly compelling Christmas story.
