Britney Spears Has a Plan

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Christina, the younger sister of Sam Lutfi, the douchebag who manipulated and routinely drugged Britney Spears (allegedly) until she was completely cut off from her family and those who cared about her, testified in a Los Angeles court yesterday claiming that she recently snuck a prepaid cell phone to Britney at a Beverly Hills hotel so Spears could remain in contact with Lutfi. Oh, by the way, Britney planned the whole thing. People reports:

“[Britney] told me she wanted to get a hold of Sam,” said Christina, 25, whose brother had once been Spears’s manager. “She wanted him to help her find a lawyer, and wanted someone to get a prepaid cell phone to her. She was scared because her father was blackmailing her with visitation rights over her kids.” Spears allegedly told Christina to meet her on the fifth floor gym of the Peninsula Hotel on Jan. 16. When Christina arrived, Spears was working out with her mother while a bodyguard stood nearby. But they rendezvoused in a sauna where Christina gave her a phone, saying it was from Sam and ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib, which Spears then hid in a locker. “She asked me, ‘Will Sam be able to help me?'” Christina added. The phone, however, was later discovered by Spears’s security team and confiscated from her purse.

Wow, if we’ve learned anything here, it’s that if you’re looking to hatch a plan to steal the Hope diamond or to use cyberterrorism to drain millions from a bank, you might want to give Britney a call. I mean, who are we kidding? It’s obvious she’s some sort of criminal genius.

Britney’s Candies ads (Photoshopped with alien technology) and normal Britney on stage last week. Man, what a change!: