Britney Spears Dresses Appropriately

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When you’re a single mother of two under court-ordered psychiatric care, it’s always best to dress for maximum function and comfort because you’re a busy woman on the go. Except of course, if you’re Britney Spears. Then you’re just on the go to get hussied up and hang out at Starbucks. Jesus, this chick is embarrassing. Let’s not kid ourselves and pretend that, in 13 years, Sean Preston and Jayden James won’t be on Sunset wearing eyeliner and mesh halter tops letting middle-aged men watch them jack off so they can feel love.

(even though Britney is a delusional inbred hick who, by talent alone, should be a day shift stripper at an I-95 exit, she’s always had kinda hot legs. Not “Shawn Johnson hot” as the the saying goes, but look in the mirror my friends, do any of us?)