It’s All Our Fault

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Lindsay Lohan couldn’t get hired to play dead right now, so all of you guys need to stop with all your vicious conjecture and lies. It’s keeping her from getting work. Lindsay tells E! News:

“My past is my past and it’s been a long one, but I’m growing more and learning more day by day. I’m not the same person and I don’t make the same mistakes. “I move forward and I change. Life’s too short not to. If people would just leave my personal life alone—because it’s really not that interesting—then I could land a great role. But all the sicko fans and the noise is so distracting.”

Yeah, Lindsay that’s it. It’s us. It’s us who are keeping from getting good movie roles. Why, if we would just leave you alone, you wouldn’t possibly be in the news for being an irresponsible drunk whore with a giant sense of entitlement. There’s no way you would be doing stuff to make people think you were nothing but professional. And you really wouldn’t be doing stuff like

this. Or this or this or this or this or this or this or this or this. I bet if this website didn’t exist, you’d be known the world over for your two Oscars and your philanthropic foundation that teaches inner city black kids how to read.