Jennifer Aniston Hates Oprah, Might Need Meds

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Jennifer Aniston is worshiped by bitter single women everywhere, and she owes most of that to Oprah Winfrey, who in 2005, dedicated a whole show for Aniston’s pity party. But it’s 2009 now. A lot has changed since then. Namely, Aniston being a psycho.

Aniston, 40, is said to be furious that Winfrey has no intention of seeing the puppy love flick, which also stars Owen Wilson. A source tells America’s National Enquirer magazine, “To this day, Oprah has flat out refused to see the movie – even though she did screen it for her studio audience and producers when Jennifer taped a recent appearance on her show. “Oprah lost one of her dogs last year and she says the last thing she wants to do is watch a movie about a tender relationship between a pooch and its owner. “But to Jennifer this amounts to a cold-hearted rejection and she feels pretty bitter about the whole thing. It’s made her really question their relationship.” The source continues, “Oprah is kind of a superstitious person and tends to break out in tears at the drop of a hat when she’s reminded of something that makes her emotionally vulnerable. “Because she was so freaked out about losing her own dog a year ago, she said it would have been bad luck and bad karma to indulge in watching Marley & Me, which revolves around a couple’s relationship with a dog. “She knows how the story ends and the wounds from losing her own dog were still pretty fresh. “Jennifer has said that it was totally irresponsible of Oprah to just skip seeing the film altogether. It’s really hurt her feelings. “She doesn’t buy Oprah’s excuse about her dog’s death. As far as she’s concerned, it’s a cold-hearted snub and a declaration of war.

Most of you (women) probably won’t believe this, and I’m not even sure I do either, but how many “Jennifer Aniston is a needy self-centered bitch” stories do you have to hear to finally come to the realization that Jennifer Aniston is a needy self-centered bitch? Brad Pitt has six kids and luxurious mansions all over the world with Angelina Jolie, yet Aniston talks about him in interviews like he just needs space. Oprah Winfrey refuses to watch her movie and she sticks in a Tori Amos CD and a garden hose in her tailpipe. Jesus, I’d be afraid to say no to this chick. Like she’d ask me to help her move and I’d say, “I would but I have to work”, and then I’d hang up and she would hire a voodoo priestess to kill my dog and turn my parents into zombies for hurting her feelings.