You’re Still Ugly
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Paris Hilton and her boyfriend, Doug Reinhard, are in Hawaii right now and I have no idea who this guy is, but I’m sure his parents are really proud. Because, after all, he’s having sex with Paris Hilton. I bet his mom can’t even wait until his penis starts glowing and grows tentacles and rescues those people from that speeding, out of control train. He’ll be the big hero!