Jessica Biel is Jessica Rabbit

[Gallery not found]

SNL and its lameness are legendary, so if you can suffer through to the 3:13 mark, you can see Jessica Biel as Jessica Rabbit. Damn, she’s hot. I would wear her ass as a hat, so I may be a little biased here. But whatever. A lot of people think that because I talk about her so much. Because I’m pretty popular. Why just the other day, the elderly gentleman in front of Wal-Mart waved at me and asked how I was doing. He must have been the manager or something, because they only do that with VIP customers. That’s right, ladies, you heard that. I’m a VIP.

UPDATE: I can’t believe I’m typing this, but please, everyone knows it’s a fake ass (here’s the real one). Whoever you are, I appreciate your repeated attempts to let me know that, but dude, seriously. Chill. Put down the Red Bull and go hug a family member.