Links Smarter Than John Mayer Hip-Hop

Yes, that’s John Mayer making a rap song for his YouTube channel. “I like sex and I’m good at it,” the sample says. Thus far, the only person agreeing is Jennifer Aniston. And she’s only agreeing with the “I like sex” part. [YouTube]

Hayden Panettiere is in Hawaii sticking her tiny nose where it doesn’t belong. What “awareness” is she raising now? [LaineyGossip]

Porn star Bree Olsen has a healthy bowel movement before the AVN awards. See, porn stars are just like us! Except they have vast amounts of sex… Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Nicollette Sheridan upskirts are a good way to spend a slow Monday. If you wank to panties on Monday, you’ve earned full-on porn by Friday. Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

If your mom buys you condoms, you’re at least as lame as Zac Efron. [FatBackMedia]

When does Jennifer Love Hewitt dare to look her age? When she goes grocery shopping. [ICYDK]

Mischa Barton blogged her breakup before anyone could report it, mistakenly thinking that we still cared what Mischa Barton was up to? How about she makes a good movie or something instead of slutting herself out? [ImNotObsessed]

Ashlee Simpson is moving to Melrose Place where she will be overly sexualized and no one will mention that a baby named Bronx has already been pushed through that vag (hint: rhymes with Madge). [EW]