Jennifer Aniston Has $56,000 Hair

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Let’s face it, Jennifer Aniston should have faded into obscurity by now. All the movies that she carries bomb, she can’t keep a man, and she comes across as arrogant in interviews. Yet she was lucky enough to marry Brad Pitt and even luckier when that evil succubus Angelina Jolie broke into her house and stole her husband like that Mexican dude in the Target parking stole your job. Aniston’s career is now kept afloat by the dreams and wishes of bitter abandoned women everywhere who think Aniston is just like them. You know, except she’s not. New York Daily News reports:

Aniston’s hairstylist Chris McMillan is estimated to have charged the sky-high sum to accompany the actress on her week-long European trip to promote the comedy “Marley and Me,” according to Britain’s Daily Mail. The hair guru is responsible for Aniston’s low-key look – a loose center-parted style that most women recreate daily with just a quick blast of the hairdryer and squirt of hairspray. But, traveling with Aniston doesn’t come cheap. McMillan accompanied the 40-year-old on a first-class flight from Los Angeles to London at an estimated cost of over $20,000 each before being treated to a seven-day all expenses paid stay in several top hotels for around $14,000 and a second flight to Paris costing $5,600. In addition, his daily fee is said to cost another $2,000 per day, pushing up his paycheck up by another $14,000.

Please keep in mind that Jennifer Aniston’s hair is parted down the middle. Again, parted down the middle. That’s it. Yet, she requires a Spartan army around the clock to do something any woman could do in ten minutes with a hairbrush and a blow dryer. However, me and the other guys in my cosmetology class think a volumizing hairspray or a defining gel should be in every woman’s daily fab arsenal. Work it ladies!

Aniston at the UK premiere of Marley and Me: