Chris Brown is in Anger Management
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Putting a woman in the hospital after you beat her and threaten to kill her while choking her out, may lead people to believe that you might need to enroll in anger management classes. If that woman is Rihanna, some may think that she might need to go with you. New York Daily News reports:
According to a source, Brown opted for anger management at the behest of his spin doctor, Michael Sitrick. “Chris doesn’t actually have to go by law,” our insider tells us, “but he believes it will make him look better to the public, and he wants to try to get in a few classes before March 5,” his court date….But insiders are rumbling that Chris shouldn’t be taking the anger management classes alone. “Rihanna is temperamental, too,” says our snitch. “They’re both too hot-headed for their own good.” Adds another source: “It didn’t help that Rihanna grabbed the keys out of his rented Lamborghini and threw them down the street. She knew it would really infuriate Chris, and it worked.”
Whatever. If they want to beat on each other, at least do it Gladiator style with chariots and tigers or something. I know that may sound a little extreme, but we have to get them off the radio somehow. I wish I could do more, but the police confiscated all my poison darts after my little misunderstanding with Miranda Kerr last year. I still don’t know why she got all bent out of shape, I was just going to put her to sleep for a while.