Adriana Lima is Married, Can Have Sex Now

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Victoria’s Secret model and legendary piece of ass, Adriana Lima, announced today on her MySpace that she got married to retired NBA guard Marko Jaric in Wyoming on Valentine’s Day. I guess this is only news because Lima has long claimed that she would remain a virgin until she was married. Hey, Marko. Fuck you.


By this point, some people know about my big news! Yes, I like to keep my life personal but I did become married on Valentine Day to the love of my life. I am SO happy inside and I want to spread my love!

The marriage was very small and not most friends and family could attend because it was a quick decision. Luckily, we will be having another wedding this summer that will be a bigger event!

We have not decided where it will be because my family is in Brasil and Marko is from Serbia. It will be great no matter where!

And finally, there are rumors of me pregnant. I just cannot say.. YET! .



I have no clue what this has to do with the story, but Jaric once played for a team called Kinder Bologna. I’m sure that means something more threatening wherever he’s from, but in American it sounds like something off a pre-school lunch menu. I didn’t look it up, but I’m going to assume their logo is a Panda and smiling sunshine face drinking a glass of milk.

Note: Yes, I know the body in the banner picture doesn’t belong to Adriana Lima. It’s an ass in the air. I hope you have some kind of point you’re trying to make here.