Lindsay Lohan is Living The Dream

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This may come as a shock, but Lindsay Lohan is a complete mess again. She’s dropping weight like a plane low on fuel and in the past few weeks, her behavior has become increasingly erratic. Her only income is reportedly from her legging line and the money she gets as one half of the D.J./hosting couple she forms with Samantha Ronson. Oh, wait, it gets worse. Yay! Fox News reports:

We’re told hard-partying Lindsay is pretty much surviving off Red Bull, coffee and cigarettes, is hardly sleeping and making strange phone-calls at odd hours of the night. All that combined with the stress of her rocky relationship with Ronson is clearly taking its toll in a dangerous way…….”Looking at photos of Lindsay just over last month, there is obviously not only an obvious loss of weight but also a loss of muscle mass. A lack of muscle could lead to rapid weight gains in the long-term and a vicious cycle of yo-yo dieting,” commented Fred DeVito, Nutrition/Fitness Expert and Founder of Exhale Spa’s Core Fusion….spies also spotted a super-distressed Miss Lohan in the lobby of NYC’s Bowery Hotel in the wee hours of Sunday morning, the night after she was engaged in yet another screaming match with Ronson. The hysterically sobbing actress had her platform shoes in her hand as she blindly ran outside into the cold. We’re told Linds seemed so messy and upset that a few concerned guests followed her out for fear she could “do something stupid” but were caught in the paparazzi crush on the street…“Lindsay is in a really bad place and refuses to believe anything is wrong,” said our source, adding that one of the reasons she and Sam are still together is that Ronson has in the past reportedly threatened to write a tell-all book if they break-up. Friends and family have reportedly been putting pressure on Lohan to have her lover sign a confidentiality agreement as a true testament to her honesty.

But at least she’s still hot and has really big tits and can get any guy she wants, right? Um, no. US Magazine

“Lindsay heard that Chace and Emile Hirsch were hanging out at [Justin Timberlake’s restaurant] Southern Hospitality for drinks,” explains the pal about events earlier in the evening. “But she showed up uninvited and unannounced. She caused quite a scene so Chace left to go back to his place for some more fun.” Ouch! And as for the Herbie Fully Loaded star’s surprise 6 a.m. appearance at Chace’s apartment building? “Lindsay showed up uninvited to Chace’s apartment and was not allowed in,” the source reveals, adding that LiLo instead headed to the airport to fly home to Sam. Double ouch!

Yikes. Lindsay’s agent might as well quit now because the next call this basket case is gonna get is her time of death. God, she’s a mess. Lindsay just needs to step back, regroup and do things that showcase her actual talents. Maybe she can enter a smoking contest. Or star in an airtighting instructional video. There’s a big market out there for videos like that. I mean, I’ll tell you just like I told that waitress I took home from Outback and her parent’s lawyers. If you don’t want to get rich, honey, hey, that’s cool.

Lindsay in New York on Monday. Ooh la la:

Photo credit: Splash