Papa Joe Didn’t Waste Time

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Not one to pass up an opportunity to whore our his daugthers, Papa Joe Simpson has come with another hair brained scheme to cash in on Jessica Simpson talent for trans fat. Big girl clothes! She tells In Style:

“I want to create clothes that flatter every figure…I know how a dress can make you feel so frumpy. I promise mine won’t. I know what flatters a woman, and trust me, I’ve been judged a lot in my life. By now I know what works if you’re curvy. If my clothing and accessories make you feel great and let you walk proud and tall – in big, big platform shoes – then I’m happy.

Whatever. Nobody cares how the clothes you make are gonna make fat girls feel about themselves. Just make the shirts stain resistant and put a Hot Pocket warmer in sleeve then go do some Pilates and get skinny again, bitch. Your body is pretty much all you had going for you, so you better hurry before I start campaigning for President in 2010. I don’t want to scare you, but fat girls who don’t know how to do anything will be sent to a prison island where they will be let loose to create a barbaric society with go guards. And no walls. And no escape.