The Cleavage Of Fashion Week: Jessica “Fatty” Simpson

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Fashion week is her for us New Yorkers, and that means all the annoying celebrities are gathering in the middle of town and going to our fancy restaurants and telling us that our suits made of burlap sacks are unfashionable. What do they want from me? Tweed?

The only good part of fashion week is recently bloated celebrities like Jessica Simpson finally remember why God allows weight gain and pushup bras to work together so nicely.

Here she is on a date with Tony Romo at the West Village’s Weaverly Inn, letting the tops of her bresticles reach for her devious smile. A smile that says: “Tonight, Tony is going to roofie me so I don’t cry during sex.”