Links With A D*ck

Inspired by Duck With A D*ck, which I just would have named Botox’d Transvestite Bath Toy. But, that’s why I don’t work in advertising. [BestWeekEver]

Disney made Miley Cyrus write another apology for the Asian thing because “Vewy vewy sawry” was a tad offensive. [LaineyGossip]

I wish calling cleavage “the slash” was a thing, because that would make this post about Slash’ wife’s cleavage so much funnier. [DrunkenStepfather]

Kanye West would like you to know that Rihanna had potential “to be the greatest artist of all time.” And if his Grammy performance sucked, it was because he knew this potential. Kanye West is an ass. [SocialiteLife]

Celebrity cars make me feel poor, but equally happy that our celebrities have avoided buying Segways. I’d rather be a second class citizen to a guy driving a BMW. [CityRag]

All I have to do to get sweet, sweet government money is to knock up one woman with octuplets. I am fertile, taking applications and have strong opinions about freeloading off the government. [ICYDK]

The Chris Brown “Got Milk?” ads will be pulled. I suggest they replace them with Rihanna “Does A Body Good” hospital photographs. [JustJared]

Paris Hilton suggested a duet to Paul McCartney after the Grammys, secretly hoping to green light her second porno Hard Day’s Night In Paris. [ImNotObsessed]