You Know Who Doesn’t Hit Rihanna? These Links.

Chris Brown was arrested for some type of assault, and sources are starting to agree it was Rihanna. I would know more, but when the rumor that he hit her with an Umbrella-ella-ella broke, I had to take a moment to laugh at domestic abuse, then call my mother and apologize for laughing. [RadarOnline]

Pregnant M.I.A. really freaked me out at the Grammys. It’s my natural aversion to knocking someone up. [LaineyGossip]

I don’t know who Dollicia Bryan is, but her chest is fantastic. Site NSFW [DrunkenStepfather]

A friend of Lindsay Lohan suffers an upskirt shot and Lindsay looks her fugliest to distract us. Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

Jessica Szohr and Lindsay Price did a kissing booth with underwhelming results. But they’re hot. [JustJared]

Madonna defiles every Jesus I know of. [SocialiteLife]

I didn’t think it was possible to f*ck up “Sweet Caroline” unless you sung it for last call at a Karaoke Bar. [BestWeekEver]