Hilary Duff is Disappointing

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Her music sucks and she sucks in an overall sort of way, but Hilary Duff was hot as hell in War, Inc, so my penis and I both agreed that we were expecting a little more from pictures with “bikini” in their title. Yeah, not so much. Nice hat. Is she a 1950’s detective all of a sudden? If she is, is the shooting at the diner just the beginning of an intricate tale of police corruption and Hollywood sleaze? Is she ready to break the rules to seek justice? Will Ed Exley avenge his father’s death? Tune in next week to find out!