Katy Perry is Celibate

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Fresh from her split with Gym Class Heroes frontman Travis McCoy, Katy Perry has now announced that she has taken a vow of celibacy. You know, in case we cared. US Magazine says:

“I’ve actually taken a vow of celibacy this year,” she tells the new issue of TV Guide. “No kissing anyone. Just my cat, Kitty Purry.”

Just to clear this up, I hope you don’t really think Katy Perry is really gonna go through with this. Because if you do, well, you’re kinda dumb. Katy Perry is an attention whore whose music sucks so she has to do everything she can to stay relevant. Last year she was pretending to make out with chicks, now she’s pretending she wants to grow her hymen back. Who knows what shocking revelations she holds in store for next year? I have no idea, but there’s a good chance that it might involve a Great Dane and a German guy shouting instructions off camera.

btw, yes. I’d still hit it like an angry god. Curse you. Curse you, cruel penis!!