Lindsay Lohan is Still a Lesbian

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Despite several online reports yesterday claiming that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had split up over the holidays, Lindsay fought those rumors with the weapon of choice of self-important losers – the MySpace blog!

Monday, January 05, 2009


little piece of TRUE information:

we did NOT break up!

access hollywood, extra, et, every tabloid, page six… AND every GOSSIP website. Get your stories straight please. It’s really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, i saw, i read, etc… NOT TRUE

🙂 xoxox Lindsay

Please, Lindsay. It’s only a matter of time, sweetie. No matter how much R&D funding you donate to strap on research, it can’t change the fact that Samantha Ronson will never have an actual penis. Because penises are your thing. If one day you’re watching the news and the anchor says some dude in NYC was discovered with a whale dick that shoots out vodka and Red Bull, you can go ahead and assume that a genie is telling Lindsay Lohan that she has two wishes left.