Hacked Twitter Gives Us The Britney Update We Always Wanted

Attention y’all: Britney Spears’ Twitter account was hacked this morning, or at least that’s what I’ve been told. In reality, I thought that the above Twitter update was probably the most informative thing broadcast by @britneyspears. Because with a 4-foot-wide, toothed and shaven reproductive hole, Britney could double her usefulness. She could use her $1000 whore price to be a secret agent worldwide, or she could just eat Vern Troyer and sing at the same time.

In case you forgot what said toothed monstrosity looks like here’s a NSFW blast from the past.