Ben Affleck Sneaks Large Woman/Small Whale To Hospital

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It looks like the Affleck clan is soon to be one more as this morning Ben Affleck did his best to clandestinely sneak Jennifer Garner to Ceders-Sinai in Beverly Hills. Some people say the pregnant body is a beautiful thing, and maybe it’s just my inability to reproduce, but I hesitate using the word “beautiful” to describe anything that involves a lot of swelling. Swelling with love and procreation, but still swelling. That’s the opinion that ensures I’ll never have children and – at the rate things are going – never touch a woman again.

Once again, Ben Affleck barely bests me. Curse you Affleck!