George Clooney Better Not Be Dating Paris Hilton

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Life & Style magazine doesn’t exactly have the journalistic integrity of say, a People magazine, but it does occasionally beat the Weekly World News – Turns out Bat Boy is totally made up. I know that news broke my heart.

Here’s the group that sat down to dinner on December 20th: Paris Hilton, George Clooney, Ridley Scott, head of Marvel Studios David Maisel, and Paris’ BFF winner Brittany Flickinger. Why this motley crew assembled is anyone’s guess (and until it is out of the pages of Life & Style, it is just that: a guess), but the accusation made by the mag is that Clooney and Hilton have got some sort of flirtation going on.

This wasn’t the first time they had met, apparently, with one of Paris’ “friends” saying the couple had also met one-on-one at The Whiskey Bar. “Paris and George sat and talked together for ages. They didn’t seem to be aware of anyone else in the room,” said the author of this fictional piece unnamed source.

Let’s just make this perfectly clear: if any body part below George Clooney’s waist is unclothed, it should at no time be touching any part of Paris Hilton. This includes the fictional scenario of Clooney accidentally brushing his knee against Paris’ should he be jogging in shorts in the proximity of the heiress.

Under no circumstances can George Clooney continue to flirt with Paris Hilton and not start disgusting me. He’s George Clooney, and she’s that rich girl made famous by a sex tape. At least Sarah Larson didn’t have a sex tape.

Here are some pictures of Paris in Australia, where she hopefully stays because it is far away from George Clooney. And from us.