Alicia Keys is in a Bikini, Hungry

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I get a lot of hate mail whenever I call Alicia Keys fat, so I won’t mention that most of these pictures of Keys in Perth, Australia show her in varying forms of eating. However, I can say with confidence that if I was a kindergarten teacher, any of these pictures would be my flashcard for the word “lesbian.” Oh, please. There’s no way you can tell me if she got carpal tunnel you wouldn’t rule out “masturbating to Wanda Sykes and Queen Latifah” as one of the reasons.