Jessica Biel is a Stripper, Now With Video

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Powder Blue, my penis’ most anticipated movie of 2009, released it’s first trailer last night, and boy am I excited. Not because it looks like another pretentious drama about circumstances that cause the lives of strangers to intersect, causing them to learn love and tolerance, but because it has Jessica Biel’s perfect ass swinging on a pole. You see, this is why I love America. In some countries, I hear you have to drown an orphan to see something like this.