Britney Spears is in Prison

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Britney Spears’ fans have been feeling vindicated recently because they can look people in the eye now when they tell them that they’re Britney Spears fans, but that’s all gonna change when a new documentary, Britney: For The Record, airs on December 1st. I don’t want to give it away, but Britney says her new “healthy” life is a manufactured lie and she can’t wait to break free. Oops, sorry! The Sun reports:

“In a new fly-on-the-wall documentary she tearfully admits: “There’s no excitement, there’s no passion….”I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day. I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening. If you do something wrong in your work, you can move on, but I’m having to pay for a long time. I never wanted to become one of those prisoner people. I always wanted to feel free.”

Please keep in mind that before a court assigned a team to watch Britney’s every move, she was talking in a British accent, attacking cars with umbrellas, and holding her kid hostage. Let’s not pretend that if Britney is left to her own devices that she’s gonna enroll for online classes or join a book club. In a more realistic scenario, Britney, convinced she’s a werewolf, will be tasered after the police had to chase her around a park where she was running around naked wearing nothing but an army helmet and a life jacket.

Britney at Sur restaurant last night: