Hugh Hefner’s Twins Are Felons

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As you know, Hugh Hefner has replaced his old whores with two 19 year old twins. Specifically, Karissa and Kristina Shannon. That’s what their probation officer calls them. E! Online reports:

“Florida police records show that 19-year-old twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, who appear to be seeking permanent quarters in the Playboy Mansion, are currently on probation for a battery bust in St. Petersberg. The sisters were arrested in the early morning hours of Jan. 10 and booked on suspicion of felony aggravated battery, per arrest reports obtained by E! News. They were released from custody after posting $10,000 bonds and were later given probation and ordered to pay restitution for the incident, the details of which have not been determined just yet. Prior to that run-in with the law, Karissa Shannon was arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor battery last November. No further information about their dual arrests was available, but their records do indicate that the blonde, blue-eyed twins aren’t exactly identical. Turns out Karissa has a cross tattooed on her lower back, while her sister has no identiyfing scars, marks or tattoos.”

Crazy white blonde chicks are hot, so hey, whatever. And let’s keep this in perspective, because to reiterate, they’re two blonde white girls. It’s hard to build a case for felony aggravated battery when the victim orgasms at some point.