Shia LaBeouf Will Not Be Charged

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On July 27, Shia LaBeouf was seen by witnesses at the LA bar, Troubadour, “pounding shots and acting really crazy” immediately before he got into a collision and flipped his F-150 in the middle of a city street. When police arrived on the scene, LaBeouf refused to submit to a blood alcohol test, but since he was visibly drunk off his ass, the responding officers placed him under arrest for DUI. Man, I wonder what the Los Angeles D.A.’s office is going do with all that evidence? Ooohh, the suspense!! TMZ reports:

The L.A. County D.A. just rejected the case on grounds of insufficient evidence. He is not off scot-free. Shia will almost certainly have his license suspended because he refused to submit to a blood alcohol test. Steve Whitmore from the L.A. County Sheriff’s Dept tells us Shia’s DMV hearing is tomorrow.”

Wow, did you hear that?! He isn’t getting off scot-free! Oh, no sir. No way. Because if you’re a celebrity in L.A., justice is swift and unmerciful. They’ll slightly inconvenience you if you dare to break the law. I really hope Shia learns a valuable lesson from not being able to drive. Lessons like if the hooker dies in the back of the limousine because she can’t handle her blow, coyotes respond much faster than paramedics. Why wait?

Shia LaBeouf and my wife at the premiere of Eagle Eye . I couldn’t attend. You know, secret government mission stuff:

Banner photos: Splash