Britney Spears and Madonna Aren’t Shocking

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Despite months of wild and sexy(?) rumors about Britney Spears’ video cameo in Madonna’s Sticky and Sweet Tour, the tour kicked off Saturday night in Cardiff, Wales. Britney had a video cameo. Turn the volume up. It might be hard to hear over the yawns and bored indifference. Us Magazine reports:

In the segment (which played while Madonna sang “Human Nature”), Spears is trapped in an elevator and whispers the lines “express yourself, don’t repress yourself.” The video ends with her saying, “It’s Britney, bitch.”

So, to recap, we went from Britney Spears and Madonna dancing topless on stage to Britney’s fat ass being trapped in an elevator. I don’t want to tell Madonna how to do her job, but if she wants to create a fantasy, she might want to scratch off shit that could happen in real life. Maybe next time she can have Britney Spears knit a sweater or watch something cook in the microwave. You know, to fully drive the point home that I’d need a time machine to remember a time when these two were controversial.

Madonna performing in Cardiff, Wales this weekend: