Britney Spears is Lying

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For weeks we’ve been told that Britney Spears has a new body, and now OK! Magazine wants you to know that Britney got her “newly toned and tanned figure” the way any schizophrenic, meth freak with no self-control did – by a structured regimen of diet and exercise. Of course!

In an exclusive photoshoot in the new issue of OK!, the singer reveals how she successfully regained her lean physique and how she’s committed to being a healthy role model to her two young boys. “I’m the healthiest I’ve been all my life,” Britney, 26, tells OK!. “My diet has a lot to do with my getting into shape. I have no sugar. I don’t eat fruit or even fruit juice because of the sugar. I eat chicken and salmon and rice. I eat avocados. I’ll have egg whites for breakfast and sometimes turkey burgers for lunch. I try to do just 1,200 calories a day. It may sound like it’s not much, but it’s actually a lot of food if you eat the right things.”

That’s right. Healthy food choices make all the difference. Healthy food choices like this. Or this. I don’t want to get ahead of myself here, but I think it’s safe to say that the only way Britney Spears could lose 12 pounds in 30 days is if a bear bit off her leg.

Britney leaving a recording studio last night:

Photos: Splash