Jessica Alba is Puffy

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Jessica Alba is hot, but damn she’s boring. Good thing she just had a kid and made her rack bigger. Because, let’s face it, that’s pretty much the only thing interesting about Jessica Alba. Sure, I’d eat bologna for a week to save enough money to bribe her into getting naked, but I get the feeling that if I had to have a conversation with her I’d be trying to tickle my carotid artery with a chainsaw at some point.

Photos: Splash