Britney Spears Has a Duet With Justin Timberlake

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Nobody asked, but Britney Spears is recording tracks for her new album, and surprisingly, Justin Timberlake has agreed to do a duet with Spears. Well, not really a duet, Justin Timberlake will be actually singing and a magic computer will take whatever the hell Britney does and try to hide it in [insert African-American producer of the moment]’s beats. OK! says:

Britney Spears is getting a helping hand from an ex-flame. Superstar Justin Timberlake will record a duet for her new album, OK! reveals exclusively.”

I know Britney fans will read this and think these two are back together, but sorry to break it to you. They’re not. Justin Timberlake is hitting this, so I hope you aren’t confused as to why he doesn’t want to rekindle a romance with a fat, medicated mother of two who pays child support. You might also be confused as to why Jessica Biel is banging Justin Timberlake. Especially since she knows I want to mark her with my scent. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it?

Britney out shopping this weekend: