Miranda Kerr is Dead to Me

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Several online reports are claiming that Victoria’s Secret model, Miranda Kerr, and Orlando Bloom have split. The reason for the split is that Kerr has been seen all over town with…oh God I can’t even say it….Brandon…I think I’m gonna be sick….InTouch says:

…she has rebounded into the arms of her former flame, oil heir Brandon Davis. The Victoria’s Secret model and Brandon were first seen together shopping on LA’s Robertson Boulevard last November but at the time they both insisted they were just pals. On July 12, Brandon, who recently split from Australian model Cheyenne Tozzi, and Miranda’s friendship took a romantic turn – they were spotted canoodling at two clubs in NYC. Brandon, 27, and Miranda were “full on making out” says a witness at 1Oak. The pair was also spotted kissing at Beatrice Inn later that night. “They didn’t seem to care who saw,” the witness reveals.”

No matter how much satin and velvet I used to make this jewelery box for Miranda Kerr, there comes a point where I have to realize that she’s a model. And like all models, she’s gonna prance in her underwear for a while then marry a millionaire douchebag and spend the rest of her life on a yacht in the South of France being hand fed penguin sushi by a Jamaican steward named Remy. Fine, if that’s what she wants. When she’s ready, she knows where to find my preferred customer table at Applebee’s.

Miranda and Orlando a few months ago:

Photos: Splash