Kong Kardashian is Going to Jail

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Khloe Kardashian, the grotesquely gigantic youngest of the Kardashian sisters (a.k.a. Armenian Whores), has been sentenced to three days in a Los Angeles jail for violating the terms of her probation following her DUI bust in March of last year. People reports:

She admitted to failing to complete [roadside cleanup duty] and enroll in an alcohol education class,” said L.A. City Attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan on Monday. Kardashian, 24, has until July 18 to begin serving her sentence. She was sentenced on July 3. “Khloe is ready and willing to serve out her sentence, no matter how long and where, and have this resolved,” her rep tells PEOPLE.”

Um, no she’s not. Khloe Kardashian knows she’ll be sentenced to “three days” in a private cell in a Los Angeles jail, so let’s not pretend all of a sudden that she’s willing to serve 10 years on a Mars slave mining colony to make this right. At best, she’ll be in jail for an hour. At worst, the jail won’t have time to finish her seaweed body wrap and her chamomile tea won’t even be warm.