Nobody Likes Katherine Heigl

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In an open letter to Katherine Heigl, New York Magazine praises the actress for her ever present grace and class. Yeah, not really:

So you’ve acted out once again (no pun intended!). You’ve withdrawn your name from Emmy eligibility, because, in your words, ‘”I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination.” And now you’ve started a fight with the writers of Grey’s Anatomy. Their feelings are hurt, Katie: “It’s an ungrateful slap in the face,” one show insider told EW. You actually won the Emmy for supporting actress last year, which was really so lovely for you. So why, this year, are you so sure your material doesn’t even warrant a nomination? Let’s think. Okay, Heigl, we agree that Izzie’s story lines have become increasingly marginal and unbelievable. Lately, everyone on the show seems to think that Izzie’s completely irritating. So do we! We actually groan aloud when your perky face appears onscreen! There’s a theory we have about this, Katherine, so listen closely. Have you ever thought that maybe the writers are incorporating your own personality into that of your character? Because we read a lot of women’s magazine and gossip sites, and we think we kind of know you at this point. And guess what? You’re totally annoying and self-righteous, just like Izzie!…And then (and then!) you called your own hit movie, Knocked Up, “a little sexist.” You have a right to your opinion, and we might even agree with you…What possessed you to bash it? Do you think you’re above the work that you do? It was a comedy, and you profited tremendously. You’re no Streep, honey, and even she does Abba with a smile…So please take our advice. Grey’s Anatomy is a soap opera. Get off your high horse, missy. You talk all about the integrity of the Academy? Ha! You know they’re giving an Emmy to a reality-TV show host this year, right? Stop pissing off your writers and directors and castmates. We want to like you, Katherine, really. Please stop making it so hard to do so.”

Katherine Heigl is a marginal actress who has tricked people into having an overinflated opinion of her completely average looks, so it really is a mystery why she’s such an ungrateful bitch. Also a mystery? Stonehenge.

Katherine Heigl and her husband on June 11th. What a sexy couple!: