Jessica Biel Might Be Engaged and Pregnant

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Aww, dammit. The Sun reports:

I hear he will soon be proposing and has already started looking at potential wedding venues – or in his case, islands. The two have been dating since January last year and rumours are rife they may already be planning a family. One source said Jessica has not been drinking recently, sparking pregnancy rumours. They added: “Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids. For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Jessica. He is so happy with her. They spent quite a bit of time apart recently when Justin was working with Madonna. That made him certain Jessica was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.”…”Although Justin has lived his whole life in the public eye, he feels his wedding is the one day that should remain private. To get all his close friends and family to Mustique will cost a fortune. But he can’t put a price on how he feels about Jessica.”

Ah, I see. It appears that my pack of robot ninja werewolves must be recalibrated to attack wiggers with frosted hair. Game on, Timberlake. Game on.