Jessica Simpson is Dumped and Drunk

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Tony Romo went on a vagina tasting tour of Chicago last weekend, and since then, online reports have been spreading like a Daytona Beach fire that the couple have split and that Jessica Simpson has been drowning her sorrows in alcohol. However, a source close to the pair (i.e. Joe Simpson) claims that Romo still plans to propose, but the couple have just hit a “rough patch.” Um, sure. FOX News reports:

Every couple has their problems; we’re hoping that they’ll have a break and work it all out,” said the source. So while Romo’s initial matrimonial plans seem to have been put on the back burner for the time being, the estranged duo are apparently still “talking.” Calls to Simpson’s rep were not returned. But what exactly are these “differences” that are causing chaos for the couple? For one, 28-year-old Romo reportedly still has a roommate and loves his freedom while Jess has already been married and divorced and has made it clear she wants to be a mom soon. “Jessica has made no secret of the fact she wants to get married, and with all the Ashlee wedding talk and Jess’ dad’s involvement, Tony was obviously feeling it,” another source said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he just couldn’t go through with the proposal and that’s what’s caused the break.”

Yeah, sounds like Tony was obviously feeling it – “it” being “Lindsey Betrus,” a hot 21 year old blonde he reportedly couldn’t keep his hands off of the whole night. I don’t mean to get all pessimistic, but a gay dude will get married in Texas before Jessica Simpson will.

Update: Us is now reporting that desperate for publicity and damage control Papa Joe Simpson has been begging Tony Romo to attend Ashlee Simpson’s wedding this weekend despite the fact that he’s no longer dating Jessica. Pathetic.

Clingy by herself:

Lindsey Betrus photo via Star