Ashlee Simpson is Getting Married This Weekend

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Yay. in Touch says:

Despite their coy efforts to keep it a secret, In Touch can confirm that Ashee Simpson and Pete Wentz will tie the knot on May 17. “It’s going to be a small, intimate gathering,” an insider says. On May 8, at a performance for troops at California’s Camp Pendleton, Jessica Simpson announced that she will be her little sister’s maid of honor…And although Ashlee remains mum about a possible pregnancy, insiders insist that she’s expecting. “They’re keeping it quiet because they want to get married first,” another insider reveals.”

I couldn’t care less if these two got married or mauled by a bear, but it would be super cool if they would just do something and go away. Nobody cares about them, their wedding, or their soon to be sexual identity questioning baby. Besides, Pete Wentz is really fucking annoying. I’d kick his ass if I didn’t mind the smell of piss and acetone.